After my Finding Faith post, a friend gifted me the book “Learning to Walk in the Dark” by Barbara Brown Taylor. I finished it last week, and it is incredible. It explores darkness in a way that was eye opening for me. In one of the chapters, Barbara goes on a trip to a cave to explore the darkness within. While in the cave, she looks up, and her flashlight lights up some crystals. She describes these crystals as incredibly beautiful. She decides to take one home with her as a souvenir. When she arrives home, she opens up her sack to find the crystal, and she pulls out a rock that looks like a piece of gravel. She is perplexed that the gravel looked so beautiful in the darkness, but in the light, it looks dull. She shone a flashlight on it, and when the light hit the gravel just right, she saw it come back to life and shine.
I’m sure a lot of conclusions can be drawn from this story, but when I read this, my mind immediately jumped to a conversation I had with my therapist. I was talking about my struggles with God and how I couldn’t understand how His plan for my life could be for so many hard things to happen. I had come to the conclusion that God has natural laws, and we all have agency, and that is why things have lined up how they have. My therapist asked, “Well could both be true? Is it possible that God has His natural laws that play a part, but that He also planned to give you a support system?” I immediately told her that that isn’t possible. If you know me well, you will know that I can be very bold and stubborn at times. This was one of these times. But just because I don’t seem to be considering other ideas, it doesn’t mean it isn’t true. It just takes me some time to think about it to see their reasoning.
Since that conversation, I have come to the conclusion that my therapist is right. My friends and family are my shining diamonds in the cave. Because of all the difficult things I have gone through, I have had the chance to see the best of people. You get to see things in the darkness that you can’t see in the light. People have shown me God’s love through their friendship, service, and love in a way I wouldn’t experience without the hard things in my life.
I am truly so grateful for incredible friends and family. I don’t know what I did to have so many amazing people in my life, but I truly do. I feel that I am incredibly blessed in this way. I can acknowledge that maybe it is part of God’s plan that I have friends and family who are there for me in so many ways. Maybe He has been watching out for me. Thank you for being my light in the darkness. I see you now.