This is the last prompt for my writing class. Day 30. I have shared some of my writing from this class here and kept some of it for myself.
Self-love is something I have had to work on a lot. Over the past few years, I have focused on the ways I talk to myself, because I’m my own worst critic. I have worked on finding time to do things that I enjoy, and also having a routine that includes scripture study, self-care, etc. But I don’t really know if that made me love myself more.
A few months after Greg died, I had some weeks where I was really struggling. I was concerned about myself and thought I might need to seek more help than I already had. But then, I realized that I wasn’t taking care of myself. I wasn’t eating at normal times. I wasn’t drinking. I was staying up way too late, and then expecting myself to get up early. I was making myself keep going, even though I needed to rest.
That was a big wake up call. I clearly didn’t care much about myself if I wasn’t doing those basic things for myself. I started focusing on basics and nothing more, and it made a huge difference for me. It was easier to get out of the slump I was in because my body was being cared for.
I logically think I love myself, but experiences like the one above tells me I still have some work to do. But I do want to love myself.
Because I love myself, I take care of my basic needs. I eat, drink, and sleep when I need to.
Because I love myself, I acknowledge the pain in my eyes when I look in the mirror. I give myself the compassion I need, as well as permission to feel and express my emotions.
Because I love myself, I move my body when I need to move, and I rest when I need to rest.
Because I love myself, I learn and grow and continue in my education. I let myself dream of making a difference for others.
Because I love myself, I work to keep my responsibilities manageable. This means I say no to some things so I can say yes to what needs to be my priorities. I find help when needed and accept help when it is offered.
Because I love myself, I continue to live. I find joy in my family, friends, work, and daily tasks. I let myself stop to enjoy a moment because that is what life is all about.